IDL33 Season 1: The Promise to the One with Jason Hewlett
How would someone impersonate you and your leadership qualities? When was the last time you pointed out the gifts and skills of the people that you work with? Why is the promise that you make to yourself one of the most powerful ones?
I am so excited for you to listen to Jason’s story today. It’s a story of resilience, standing true to his values, which to me really exemplifies what it means to be a leader in a position to have an impact.
Having delivered thousands of presentations over 2 decades, Jason Hewlett is the only speaker in the world teaching leadership in a performance of uncanny musical and comedy impressions, utilizing the legends of stage. “The Promise” is a keynote speech that feels like a show, with proven processes and immediately implementable takeaways to transform your business and leadership skills.
Jason is the author of the Facebook post entitled, “I Saw My Wife at Target Today”, which has been seen by more than 100 million people. A recent, and one of the youngest inductees in the prestigious Speaker Hall of Fame, his talks inspire leadership from the perspective of a Promise, while giving attendees an engaging, entertaining, and educational experience all in one
Visit his website. Connect on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Subscribe to his YouTube channel.
In this episode we discuss:
The power of the promise to one
Values for your promise
The ICM tool
THE POWER OF THE PROMISE TO ONE
“I can stand fully in my power and my integrity, because your integrity is your harmony, to know that I kept a promise to myself, to my family, and my legacy, to the foundation upon which I built my career and my life, and that I can stand here and say “I can teach you how to make and keep better promises to yourself to live the life you want to create”. ”
It is impossible to make everyone happy, but it is possible to commit your strength and energy to make at least one person glad, and that person can be you.
As a healthy person with strong values and integrity, making yourself proud and happy often means giving off happiness and opportunities to others.
When you stand firm in your values and stick with your promise, you show yourself and others that you have integrity and that your word is as solid and valuable as gold. Of course, in leadership, this is a massive cornerstone in success and building a resilient business.
VALUES FOR YOUR PROMISE
Humility and ego go together. You need to have a strong enough ego that propels you to want to be at the front of the pack because you know that is one of your strengths.
At the same time, you also need humility and to cultivate the ability to be humble so that you can be led because being led and leading depend on one another. You will struggle to be a great leader if you refuse to be led at times. You need to listen to lead.
“We have to have a strong enough ego to believe that we can lead, and yet a strong enough ego to set aside to be humble enough to lead. ”
THE ICM TOOL
In Jason’s book The Promise to The One, he mentions ICM, which stands for:
Identify
Clarify
Magnify
“Imagine if we were able to pull it out of ourselves, identify more signature moves that clarify that we have greatness among the team and with all that we do, and now we can magnify that light. ”
Human beings have many gifts and are naturally talented at many things. Over time, from childhood, many people are taught to believe that they are only good at some things and not at others, and so they abandon their talents or never use them.
Consider that, instead of you only having one signature move, you have many. In the ICM process, you:
Identify: Write all your gifts, talents, skills, and attributes that you want to create for yourself and that you do already have on a piece of paper.
Clarify: Ask the people in your life; your family, loved ones, leaders, clients, and customers, what they think you are good at, and add those to your lists.
“This isn’t a time to ask for improvement notes, there’s plenty of time for that. This is the time to help us receive words that we have never considered for ourselves.”
Magnify: These help you to see yourself in a new and magnified way so that you can go and magnify your promise.
With the ICM tool, you can now combine your ‘why’ and your ‘purpose’ with your ‘promise’. This is a tool that you can share with your employees, and you can elevate your entire company by unlocking the potential in your people.
Resources, books, and links mentioned in this episode:
Visit his website. Connect on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Subscribe to his YouTube channel.
BOOK | Jason Hewlett - The Promise To The One
BOOK | Simon Sinek - Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action
The Impact Driven Leader YouTube Channel
Join the Impact Driven Leader Community
Connect with Tyler on Instagram and LinkedIn
Emai Tyler: tyler@tylerdickerhoof.com
About the Impact Driven Leader Podcast
The Impact Driven Leader Podcast, hosted by Tyler Dickerhoof, is for Xillennial leaders who have felt alone and ill-equipped to lead in today's world. Through inspiring interviews with authors from around the world, Tyler uncovers how unique leadership strengths can empower others to achieve so much more, with real impact.
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We have to have a strong enough ego to believe that we can lead, and yet a strong enough ego to set aside to be humble enough to lead.
Jason Hewlett
Podcast Transcription
[TYLER DICKERHOOF]
As you know, as you've heard, part of this podcast is also doing the Impact Driven Leader round table. I want you to listen to this quick message, this is an invitation. I want you to come sit at our table. You're going to learn, you're going to grow and you can't help, but have a great time with us. And I invite you. You're listening. There's a seat for you with your name on it. Come join us.
[MOLLY SLOAN]
Hey, this is Molly Sloan. The Impact Driven Leader book club and round table have been transformational for me. I've been involved for the past six months and it's taken me on a journey to be a better leader and a better person at work, at home, and really in every interaction with people. Tyler's done a great job of guiding us through the books. They're current, thought-provoking and they apply to all of us. The weekly round table has become an accountability team. I've done lots of leadership trainings in the past where you feel on top of the world, the week after the event, but ultimately it wears off over time. This group is better. We're on a leadership journey with each other through frequent, ongoing discussions and continual growth. I strongly recommend this group to anyone aiming to continually develop as a leader.
[TYLER]
Welcome to the Impact Driven Leader podcast. This is your host, Tyler Dickerhoof. So glad to have you here joining in today and excited for you to hear this new episode of the Impact Driven Leader podcast with Jason Hewlett. You're going to absolutely love today. Can't wait for you and hopefully you're able to check out this video on YouTube because you're going to get the full extent of Jason when you're able to catch it there, see him in video live. And I'm so excited to chat with Jason today, partly in the fact that as I've got introduced to many different speakers and authors along this journey of this podcast, it's really people like Jason, the hidden gems who have a tremendous story, a story of really resilience, a story of standing true to his values. That to me really exemplify what it means to be a leader in a position to have an impact.
You're going to hear more about it. I encourage you to go grab Jason's book The Promise to The One. It's really about that promise. You're going to learn about that, who that one is that makes the difference. And really, as you're going to hear this story, it's never about the one, but it's all about the one. So sit back, get some, whatever you're doing me, you're taking notes, whether you're like me, where I'm out doing something, listening to these podcasts where I learn and grow and get ready to just have a great time listening to Jason as he tremendously unpacks a lot of his lessons and leadership in life. I know you're going to get tremendous value out of it. And if you could do me a favor, if you could subscribe and share this with somebody, share this episode with somebody that you think it would bring them value, I would be very much appreciative as I imagine Jason and I know Jason would as well. Check out all the show notes to get all the links to Jason and everything he does. You're going to enjoy and really be appreciative of him. So I'll catch you here at the end.
[TYLER]
Getting through that, got through that. One, it's such a chronicle of your life. I mean, that's obviously what a lot of books are, but it's funny you get to read a book and you get to know about people. So I feel like I'm getting to know you and I'm so thankful that Clint introduced us. I saw you were able to spend a couple days with him in Vegas, hopefully that was a good time.
[JASON HEWLETT]
Oh yes. Such a good guy. And we were there with the National Speakers Association. All of the other speakers around, and those that could make it were there. It was awesome. So yes, we had a fun time. It was smaller than usual, that event, because a lot of people were still doing the virtual thing, which is cool. They provided a hybrid, which is what I believe will be something we'll do for a long time. At least I hope so because I like the virtual too, but yes, it was fun with him. So he's the man, Clint, ladies and gentlemen.
[TYLER]
Yes. He, I mean, you think about, and I had the opportunity to talk to Chad yesterday, who he introduced me to as well. So that was, literally Chad got off the plane and then he helicoptered, as he said, to his ranch to be able to record a podcast. And I'm like, "Well, geez, Clint, thanks.
[JASON]
Yes, I believe it. He does that a lot actually, because he's the most booked person in the world, as far as speaking is concerned. Chad does more gigs than anyone, any of us know. It's pretty amazing.
[TYLER]
Really. I mean, it was in a funny, it kind of reminded me a lot of, in some ways, Maxwell. John Maxwell is very much that he doesn't have any downtime in his schedule at all. So as he was talking about, you know he had this, got in for Vegas, recorded our podcast, he was going to go spend some time with his wife and then he was going to go talk to a group of kids that were summer camp at his ranch and off goes to another place
[JASON]
Busy guy. Doing a lot of good.
[TYLER]
It's probably got to be great to have, as I would imagine, both you and Clint having that mentor close.
[JASON]
Oh yes. And what's neat about having a mentor like Chad Hymas is that he's a guy who's been there done that, had every kind of challenge and so forth, and yet he's still pushing forward. He's still independent. I mean, the guy is at a wheelchair, he's a quadriplegic and yet he's traveling the world by himself, relying upon the goodness of other people. It's really an amazing example of living what you preach. So he's been a mentor. Clint's been a mentor to me, even though he claims that I'm his mentor. I'm learning more from Clint every day. I mean, this guy's killing it in every kind of way. He's a pretty amazing guy.
[TYLER]
I was thankful to get to know Clint and still I am and just as much as I'm thankful to get to know you and see what we end up with here. So first of all, Jason, thanks for being on the podcast with me. It's going to be conversational. And to me, that's when the greatest things come, just chatting about you. And obviously you are a speaker, a performer, a former three point shot percentage leader in the state of Utah who got a scholarship offer to BYU whose junior year, where do you want me to keep going with this?
[JASON]
That's amazing. I never get introduced with all that. That means you read my book. I mean, dude.
[TYLER]
That means I read something. That means I did my homework, right?
[JASON]
Yes, those are the days. That's like a, I don't know, what was his name on Napoleon Dynamite, when Uncle Rico is, "Yes, man. I used to be able to throw a football of over them Hills, man, sitting in a hot tub with my soulmate." Those were the days the coach would've put me in with a taken state. So yes, you're reading those old stories, man.
[TYLER]
What's great about that is Uncle Rico two years ago, got a resurgence into urban myth legend because of Gardner and that even makes it, so is this your Swan song, Jason? Is that what you're saying?
[JASON]
It must be. I don't know, man, but I'll tell you those were the days and it's fun now that I have teenage boys that want to play basketball and want to shoot and all of a sudden they're like, "Wait a minute. When did you learn how to shoot like this dad?" It's not necessarily like riding a bike, but you get that basketball in your hands and you're like, yes, I'll just come out here to half court and sink a few, freak you out. That's what happened and they were like, "Our dad's the best shooter ever." And I'm like, that's all I ever wanted my kids to say.
[TYLER]
There you go. I mean, you got to put the bar somewhere. You don't want to put it too high because then they have this complex, but it's like, you got to put it there for them to be able to really aspire to something.
[JASON]
Yes, and you know, while we're on this topic of showing things, I actually have a fan that is now clanking on us, so I'm going to see if I can get it to stop? That's, what's fun about virtual and podcasts and the whole deal. It's like, life is happening all around us. We're in our houses trying to make this thing work? So anyway, I apologize to be looking up at my family.
[TYLER]
So it's only bothering you. I can't hear it. No one else can hear. If someone else can hear it, then good for them but there's an element of, I would say the last year, year and a half now, as we're recording this July of 2021, is as a society, we've had to become more accepting of cops, kids running through the frame, people not having pants on. I mean, it's just all those things that we've had to come to grips with, some of them appropriate some inappropriate, but yet to me, that comes back to, you know some of the things that you wrote about in your book is like, "Hey, if we get hung up the way it's supposed to be, we're never going to accomplish what we can." In other words, if you would only say, "Hey, Tyler, I will only record this podcast if the lighting is right, if every single one of your perfectly colored hairs is in the right spot and the sound is perfect and all those things," it would never happen. You wrote about that in your book, in regards to this idea of have the promise and how you get there doesn't matter as much as the promise that you have and why you have that. Is that appropriate?
[JASON]
Yes, that's really nicely said. And when it comes to promises to self, and I don't know how far you want to dig into this right off the top here, but I'll say that lot of us are considering to ourselves the promises that we've made, perhaps to our work, our career. We're keeping promises here and there and everywhere, and we're pulling our hair out because we're missing one promise that we made to somebody else in order to fulfill another one and then that leaks into our family life and our relationships and now I'm not are for the kids game. I'm not nailing everything into perfection as I want to and then finally it comes down to us and our own promises for self. That's what this book was written for, is the beginning of a series of books that I'll be panning through the next few years about the different types of promises that we make and break and how we keep them instead.
So, yes, when it comes to like this virtual life that we've been living now for 16 months in this pandemic, it's been really interesting to see how much people are trying to be perfect and yet authenticity shines through the camera, through the microphone. Things are going to happen and I hope that as people are reading the book, as they're looking at chapters like habits or chapters titled self-acceptance, there are exercises at the end of every book that give you an opportunity to assess yourself, to consider your awareness, to forgive yourself, maybe for the first time as you're reading my stories, because this book is truly, like you said, a chronicle of my life, and I am the ultimate promise breaker, but I'm also trying so hard to make promises that matter; the right promises. Not just all the promises, because you're going to pull your hair out, but the right promises at the right time in the right places and how can I make and keep those to me.
That's what The Promise to The One is. The one is you. What are your promises to self? It's okay to not be perfect. Nobody's going to make it there. So how can we forgive ourselves? How can we make a new promise to be better tomorrow, to maybe just be a little self-aware, maybe have a little better integrity, maybe we look around and we pick up the trash that isn't ours. But then equally we say to ourselves, I can't be all things to everybody, but if I can keep a promise to myself, I'll be living at the highest level of joy, of happiness, of purpose in my life. And that's what I think where everybody wants to be,
[TYLER]
You know, in your book, and as I imagine it's part of your performing career as a performer, a speaker, all those things. You've had to weigh some of those times. This podcast is about leadership. I was on a, we're talking about values and leadership. We were actually talking about five levels of leadership with a team call before this and I mentioned that I've learned is really leadership in and of itself is disappointing people at a rate with which they can withstand it. And it's kind of said in this way, we're not going to make everyone happy, but to tie it in with what you have in your book, it's like, we only need to try to aim to make one person happy. And that should be through us.
I'm our person of Christian faith and I believe that's God, and everyone's kind of, they're different. Whatever that driver is, to me, you got to have somewhere, find the path and go on it and stay on that path and drive. But I come back and say, if we're trying to make everyone happy, we don't make anyone happy. And you talked a little bit about your experiences. You had to make some pretty tough decisions and that's affected you professionally. But I look at that as a snapshot from leadership, is we all have to go through those. And as you share in your book, and as you share in your story, just kind of break down how you've now, 18 year, no, no, not that long, several years later, I'll put it that way, you've had to reconcile that almost as you perform and lead. Help fill all those things together for the audience.
[JASON]
Yes. So when it comes to what, I believe you're talking about would probably be the Las Vegas opportunity. What's fascinating to a lot of people about that would be, I might pose the question to your listeners and viewers to say, what would you do if your dream opportunity came along and it was completely the opposite of all of your values? Now, that's what happened to me in 2004. I had already been performing full time for about three years and I had put together a one man show of comedy and music that was wow. It was killing it all over the place. People loved it. It was g-rated, family friendly, but it was perfect for corporate. So it was the end of the night corporate show that every billionaire or millionaire or CEO could count on as their home run to leaving everyone happy after a three day conference and I'm the awards show.
They've golfed. They've gotten awards or they haven't, they've sat through speakers and seminars. They're exhausted. It's time to go home. The casino's just outside the door. Now we're going to introduce Jason Hewlett to make us laugh. You know, Tyler, the trick about that kind of thing is you've got to grab them fast. So, because I was a clean performer who was doing comedy and music altogether, I was doing something really unique, very much like weirdo Yankovich meets Jim Carrey, if you will. It was bizarre, maybe with a little Billy Joel thrown in.
[TYLER]
Billy, is that little piano man.
[JASON]
Yes. So I'd come out there and I'd sing a song and people would cheer but I had to nail it. I had to do the voice. So I created a show of all these voices, a hundred or so voices, and it was really killing it. After three years of doing that well, I was receiving offers in casinos, around the strip in Las Vegas. That was my dream, to be a headliner in Las Vegas as a one man show. My hero, Danny who passed away about a decade ago or so was the man at the time. He was making over a hundred million, was not a household name. That's where I wanted to be. And as his people started to come after me or those that brought him to Vegas, the next thing I knew I'm being offered pretty substantial life changing opportunities. When I realized what they were offering and when I realized that it was not within the standards that I had set for myself, the promises I'd made for myself when I was young, that I would always do a family friendly show, this opportunity came along and they said, "We're going to manage you, change everything you've created and you just need to do what we tell you, and you will be successful. You will be famous. You will have your name on lights and on the cabs."
Tyler I'll tell you that was a tough one here. My wife and I, pretty much newlyweds, very excited for the opportunities ahead and now I'm having to choose, do I go forward on this path of opportunity? Do I take this while it's hot because this is probably my big chance? And think about it. If you are somebody who's listening or watching and thinking to yourself, what if I did get that big promotion I've been after? What if it's at the expense of my family? What if it even flies in the face of the values that I've created for myself upon the foundation with which I've built my life? Am I still willing to take that because the money's good because I'll become the popular person I've always wanted to be?
Even when it comes to posting something online, we have a choice every single time. So within that moment, not even realizing this was my defining moment in my early twenties, this became the story of the promise. Why do we make promises to ourselves and why do we keep them? Also why do we break them? We don't want to be the person in the relationship that breaks the promise The Promise to The One book explains how I got through that process, said goodbye to the casino offers in Vegas, have been blacklisted from being a headliner there because I turned it away at that time. And equally that I can stand fully in my power, in my integrity, because your integrity is your harmony to know that I kept a promise to myself and to my family, to my legacy, to the foundation upon which I built my career and my life and that I can stand here and say, "I can teach you how to make and keep better promises to yourself, to live the life you want to create."
[TYLER]
You bring it up in there. It undergirds, in my belief, it undergirds everything in leadership, it undergirds how you come to that promise and you talk about it, the values and you talk about integrity. One of the values that I believe hit on earlier was forgiveness, the ability to forgive those that hurt you, forgive yourself, and march on. What are some of the other values that you think, especially as a leader that when we're leading people, when we're trying to make a difference, when we're coming into grips of that same thing, oh, I've been this performer. Now I get this promotion. Now, all of a sudden I find out things behind the corporate outdoor that I wish I didn't know. Well, how do I need to carry myself? What are some of the other values that you've experienced through that process that do you think are really pivotal to upholding that promise?
[JASON]
Man, I love that question, comes down to, I believe our character, our willingness to be humble, even within the pride that can creep in. We have to have a strong enough ego to believe that we can lead and yet a strong enough ego to set it aside, to be humble enough to lead. So as we follow the great leaders that we look up to the John Maxwells, the people that have come before, whether you're a person of faith or not, I'll tell you having the holy word to read and to see the words of the prophets and of God himself and say, yes, that's how I become a leader. I believe that in the values of those written words, as well as the good words that we can read or listen to in a podcast like this, where we say, I know how I can forgive myself, become a better man. I know that I can be authentic and I can be strong and within that, a leader is vulnerable.
If you're willing to be vulnerable, there is only power within your willingness to go to that place. Unfortunately, people look at vulnerability somehow as a weakness. And there is nothing stronger than a leader who is vulnerable in his authenticity and can share that he's struggling through the pandemic or through a great crisis and says, this is what is, and this is what we do about it and we listen to those that we lead. I believe the greatest leaders are the listeners. Even though I make a living as a speaker, I'm much better at listening. I am very good at watching someone do what they do because I am an impersonator at heart and when I watch a great leader, I go, I want to impersonate that guy. And my question for your is how would somebody impersonate you? What are your leadership qualities? They are your signature moves that make you stand out in a sit down-world. All of us have them. Have you identified, clarified and magnified them because that's your promise?
[TYLER]
One, I think that's where people get twisted, especially from leadership point of view. It's like, oh, wait a second, this is a great facet of leadership that fails. It's like when you're saying one thing and doing something totally different and that authenticity really goes through all of it. It's again, one of those values and how it's displayed out through character and humility and all those factors. People look at us, "Well, wait a second. Jason's telling me this, but then behind the scenes, he's doing something totally different. Why do I want to do that?" There's some people today that I really feel challenged with when I hear them, it's like, man, I love everything they say and yet when I look who they surround themselves with, or I look how they carry selves, I just I'm confused. There's a part of me that's just like, I'm not sure what to make of this, almost catfished. To me, that comes back to all these values you've talked about and really go through and as you kind of describe, it's how you identify them, how you clarify by them, how you magnify them. And once you do that, then you start living them out. And it really is following that.
[JASON]
I love how you say that, Tyler. I appreciate it because I'm with you, man. I watch people that give some of the best advice I've ever heard, and I know about their lives in some cases, and you go, why are you teaching relationships when have fallen apart due to infidelity? Not to be judgmental, but to say, is this somebody I can actually listen to and learn from because they are value-based, because their mission is so and so and such and such in order to say, I believe you? Because the congruence on off the stage has to match up. If you're great on stage and then all of a sudden you're some promise breaking person off stage, I can't believe you. It doesn't mean that I have to be at an 11 amount of energy like I would be on stage all the time. Then I'm going to blow everyone up with my energy off the stage.
So I say, it's not a matter of incongruence to be a different version of self. It's just a different level of illumination. I'm an 11 on stage, shine my light bright, but I might be a five if you meet me and you might be, "Hey man, you're pretty mellow." And it's like, "Well, I'm still the same person, but I'm shining something brighter when I'm in front of 10,000 people in a stadium speaking and as a keynote speaker at an event." So when we think about that congruence, that's important. The other thing I like to say is that the commercial versus the reality needs to find its place within your promise. So if we've had something advertised to us and it does not meet the expectation, that is a broken promise, whether it's in your company or in someone meeting you. If they see on your website or they hear you on a podcast and they're like, that sounds like the coolest guy and I bet he's so great and then the reality is you meet them and you're like, they are nothing like I thought, or that business did not even keep the promise they advertised. We don't want that to happen. We need the reality to be greater than the commercial, deliver more than his advertised. That doesn't mean to pull back on the promises that we make. We're not saying under promise, over deliver. We're saying, make the right promises and then deliver, which will exceed the expectations and that will lead everyone to say, that's a great leader. That's a great company. It sells itself.
[TYLER]
You talk about shining your light, and there's certain trainings at time that have said from a sales point of view, from a leadership point of view, you have to be this chameleon. I can remember going back to my early days in sales and they're like, "Well this guy is great because he is a chameleon." I'm like, "I just don't get that." To me, it's not being a chameleon. It's just understanding how to turn that light up and down. Sometimes it's really dark and you need a spotlight and sometimes it's not, and you just need a little bit of light. So I love how you describe it that way. It's like, how do you turn that dial, kind of that light dimmer, that we, our light dimers are sliders. So we slide it with our finger.
To me, that's a great way to look at it because again, what you find through that is you are who you are and then you adjust based upon the circumstance. If I'm, again, loud and obnoxious in a situation that needs to be calm and reserved, and yet I'm still being, I'm saying what I say I'm who I am, that isn't as well received. And at the same point, if you're hiding corner when you need to be engaged and as a part of the crowd, you're not helping either. To me that's not a chameleon. That's taking that light dimer up and down. How can you describe that?
[JASON]
When it comes to our light and it comes to the ability to shine that, which makes us who we truly are, we have the opportunity, whether we want to shine it on the hill or keep it under a bushel. We know this from scripture. It's a choice. It's a choice as to how much we'll magnify that, which makes us uniquely who we are or to hide it from everyone else. And in The Promise to The One I teach in those exercises, how you can identify, clarify, magnify your light, your gift, your promise. So often it's things that we were good at when we were a kid and maybe somebody told us along the way, you're not good at it, so you stop or imagine the things that you've found as you've gone along in your leadership and you're like, I can do this, but then you get put in a position where you won't get to use it. Imagine if we were able to pull it out of ourselves, identify more signature moves that clarify that we have greatness among the team and with all that we do, and now we can magnify that light. So, yes, the whole book is based around concept of spreading our light, spreading that, which makes us uniquely who we are, that God sent us to this earth to be and how we can share that light with everyone is so important.
[TYLER]
So I'd love one because I'm going to gather, I'm going to make an assumption here that a lot of people listening have red Simon Sinek's book Start with Why. I've had several different guests at times where we've talked about purpose, the purpose factor of finding your purpose of more and so on. Take, and as I see you encouraging that sign about Simon, you've read read that book, how does the promise fit into the why to your purpose and bring all those together and how they fit together in your mind in regard to how someone again, can show up, can bring their talents to the table, can lead, can serve others.
[JASON]
Yes. So not taking anything from Simon. I mean, obviously Start with Why is a landmark book and everyone should read it if they haven't. Simon, I follow him, he's incredible. The point is that when it comes to our promise side of things, we just have to, where he's talking more about like your reason, the middle part of everything that you do, which is your why, for me, I'm talking necessarily about that we have so many great gifts, so many talents that are natural, and we've created skills for ourselves. I challenge the reader to consider that they don't just have one signature move. They don't just have one reason or why in this case, but rather they have even potentially a hundred. I challenge them to write all the gifts and talents that they have, the skills that they've created, the attributes they want to create for themselves.
Then once we've done that process on our end, now we have our top 10 list of the skills, attributes, gifts, and talents we feel are ours. Now we go to the clarify portion of the ICM process, clarifies when we ask other people. We can clarify that with the leaders that lead us or our clients and customers, ask them why they buy from us instead of the competitor. We could clarify that with our family. This isn't a time to ask for improvement notes. There is plenty of time for that. This is a time to help us receive words that we've never considered for ourselves. In other words, if I ask my wife to clarify for me what makes me great, I may have identified in my top 10 list that I'm funny and entertaining while she clarifies for me, she says, "Well, you are funny and entertaining, but I think you're thoughtful. I think you are attentive. I think you are careful. I think you are fun, not just funny."
These words start to help me see myself in a new way, at a magnified way so that I can then go and magnify my promise. So where we might start with why or identify our why with Simon Sinek, obviously that's a major purpose that we come up with and say, "That's where I'm going." Now, imagine if you know your purpose and you bring in from the ICM process, your promise on top of your purpose to say, "I know my purpose, plus I know my promise to the world to share it with everyone." It will magnify the way that everybody lives and the way that we help others to live because when you teach somebody the ICM process and you start to give them their skills and ifs and talents that you see in them changes the way you lead changes, the way they lead. It ignites this passion for work and it brings together this promise culture that perhaps has never existed in the organization.
[TYLER]
It really comes down into using that as a tool to develop people and really develop them into the leaders that they can and have the talent and abilities to do so. And then that's when everyone accomplishes more. To me, that's where I just get excited and I absolutely, one of my promises is help others accomplish more. To me it's so much, and as I've realized, part of my purpose there is, I've shared in times before and recently just kind of figured this out is help other leaders get healthy too. I had to get healthy from a relational, an emotional point of view. I had to become more empathetic, all those things. And to me, that process of learning that is a promise I've made to myself. It's like, "Hey, I need to put my arm around people. Let's walk together." So I love how you kind of bring that in and to me it's a great description of the process of developing leaders. You develop yourself, you develop others through that process. So love you sharing that.
[JASON]
I love how you put that, man. I love that, developing leaders and that's exactly what we're trying to do. If we're the ones that are the leader that says I should do everything myself, I have all the gifts and talents, well, you're not going to lead for long and even if you do, then everything's going to fall apart when you leave. So I've been guilty of this myself. I mean, when I say to myself, I should be doing all of these things because I can get it done quicker, cheaper, you know, I've, I had to burn all the ships so that I could bootstrap through the pandemic. Well, I had to do some stuff that I didn't want to do, or I wasn't good at, but eventually you get to the place where you're like, man, "I need to hire somebody to do that because not only is me not doing my greatest skillset, but equally I could be having someone else magnify their great talents."
I mean, it'd be like me saying, I'm going to fix my computer because there's a problem with it. I know nothing about computers. I can Google it, I can YouTube video it, I'm going to try to chop through, it might take me three or four days and I won't even fix it. But if I go and find a friend or an expert that knows exactly what to do at the computer, they can fix it in one minute. What a waste of my time? What kind of a leader am I that I would waste my time doing that? So yes, to help other leaders to grow and to learn and define theirs and to utilize theirs, that's, what's the best part of life. All of us are unique. We all have our gifts and our promise.
[TYLER]
And it's a attribute that I think has come up in many, many podcasts. That's a great way to add value to others and tell them, "Hey, this is the talent I see in you." It's identify that in them. It's like, "Hey, yes, I could do this, but you know what, you're better at it. I can go do things that you can't do and we're all better for it and it doesn't mean I'm discounting my abilities," or yours just saying, "Hey, I recognize in you and sometimes if I allow you to add value to me, that's going to help you grow to an area you didn't think you could." So that makes it fun. To me is to be able to see that in people and say, "Hey, yes, you go do this." It's also, there's another factor that is part of leader, is we have to think about things that take time to think about. And sitting down fixing your computer, then you're not thinking about how can I do what I uniquely do to be able to convey a message that no one else can?
[JASON]
Nice, beautifully said. And I love it when somebody tells me that they've received from others clarification of their talents. So I would challenge anyone listening or watching that if you were to say to yourself, when was the last time I pointed out the gift, skills and talents of the people I work with and I just sent them a little note, maybe a little text and just say, "Hey, that email you composed to the team was just awesome." I love how you use your words. That will ignite in them the ability for them to say, "I have a signature move for that. I should do that more and better." And are we clarifying that for others, especially in the home? I think in the home, especially we're saying we need to fix this, we need to do this. Stop doing that. You can't do that.
Imagine if with our kids, because I have teenagers now, imagine if, instead of just don't, don't, don't say instead, "Well, yes you did something incorrectly with your friends. However, you have leadership qualities in the fact that they followed you and the fact that they are interested in what you think and what you create. So what are you going to do with that?" It shifts the thinking of ourselves. So I would challenge anyone that's listening, that hasn't complimented someone lately, hasn't pointed out the gifts and talents and strengths of the people they're surrounded by, try it. If you want to go to my Facebook or LinkedIn or wherever, you'll see that it is a compliment fest and it's to build up the self-perception of everyone around me, because that for me is one of my best qualities. I am a great cheerleader and I want everyone to know how awesome they are.
[TYLER]
Well, that to me that is an attribute of great leaders that has gotten I would say overshadowed at times because, you mentioned earlier this image of what CEO's, executives, leaders should be. I had a friend share this with me. He shared on the podcast, Brad and he goes, the CEO of old is the guy that stood up in front of the boardroom and he stack suit, no sweat. He's like, "This is the way we're going to do it." He goes, the guy now he stands up there like, "Look at my sweaty pits. I'm sweating, but you know what, everyone in this room, I believe in you, we can fix this. Let's go." To me, that is so inviting because that's being a cheerleader, saying, "I believe, yes, I'm sweating because it's hot and we're going through this, but everyone else around me, I have faith in you. Let's go do this. We can do it."
To me, that's a lot more fun than saying, oh, it's all on me to sink or swim and I got to figure this all on my own because to me that's not a leader. That's just someone going for a hike. And I'd much rather be a leader, a collaborator, put my arm around people. And I think you haven't gotten to where you're at. Even when it was your one man show it, wasn't just you. There were sound texts, there were people, make-up, everything that was making it happen. And I believe, if, I'm just going to guess as I'm asking this is there's a lot of those lessons that you learned that as you come back now, it's like, there's a reason why you didn't take that because who knows the headliner in Vegas. Because were you the person that you are now then? No. So it's like what would've happened to you? What could have happened to you that was forsaken? To me, that's, all of us go through that leadership journey.
[JASON]
Yes, and you know success wasn't guaranteed. I mean, that's just a point. It could have turned at any point where they said, "Hey, you're not worth it. We're not going to do this." And that could have happened for sure. And as I looked back, in fact, I was in Las Vegas yesterday for this big call conference and as I'm walking down the strip and I'm looking at my friends up on the billboards and they've got their life and they're doing amazing things and I'm so proud of them and many of their worldly achievements and so forth, I also have to think, would I spiritually be where I'm at if I had done that? Would my family be the same? Would I still have the same foundational marriage that I began with 20 years ago?
I'm so grateful that there were a couple of choices that made all the difference so far. And to have somebody like a wife, a spouse that you look at and say, "This my rock, my foundation, the person that I can count on, and they're going to count on me as well." And for those people that are out there saying, "Man, I don't have somebody like that right now," that's okay. You have way more people that are on your side than you believe. So when you start thinking about who you can be accountable to, who you can bounce ideas off of, who you can ask, "Hey am I living my best life? What do I need to do to catch the blind spots?" In fact, I went to dinner with Clint Pulver, one of the great speakers in the world and I said to Clint, he's asking me all this stuff, he's like, "Jason, I have all these questions. You're my mentor," and I'm like, "Dude, you're like my mentor now and you're 10 years younger than me."
Clint is exceeding so fast. He's such a great, great author and speaker and person. I said to Clint, "Hey, thanks for asking me what I think, but I'm curious about what you think, Clint. What are some of my line spots? I mean, you read my blog, you see my videos, you're on social media with me. What are some of my blind spots?" And in trust, in listening and in a very careful tone, he leaned in and he told me a few things. He said, "I know you don't realize this and I hope this helps." I was so grateful that I would ask the question of someone I trust and that he would trust me enough to tell me the truth even though he knew it probably stung. And it does, it hurts a little bit to be like, "Oh, you're right. My blog is a little wordy for today's reader." And the things that he told me have now allowed me to reassess what I'm going to deliver to my audience. Even we talked about my website, social media, other places where he said, "I think these things could be improved." I said, "Thank you for being the kind of leader that wouldn't shy away from the opportunity when someone asks you how they can improve."
[TYLER]
Yes. Well, it's an element we all need. That's the only way we as leaders can and will get better. And we have to be vulnerable enough to do that and we also have to have people around us that are strong enough or care enough. Because there's a lot of people that are close in your life that would tell you, "Jason, oh no, you're doing great. Oh, it's wonderful," and yet they hear all the things they know what's going on, but they don't want to hurt you and that doesn't help you grow either. So it's having that care and that candor that's described, it's having vulnerability on yourself and that is a facet that I believe every leader needs to hold themselves to being able to go higher. If you want to go higher, serve more, serve more people in a bigger way. That doesn't mean it's a rank, it's whatever. Going higher to me is going deeper with people to help them accomplish more, to get where they didn't think they could. And so I think that is all part of that and I applaud you for that because that's a journey that we all should be taking some way somehow every day.
[JASON]
I love that Tyler, going higher is going deeper. That is legit and you're so right, because yes, it's all about driving into the foundation. The deeper the foundation, the stronger and greater we can build. So when we build upon those values, those things which we promise ourselves, and if we're willing to listen to the feedback of someone we trust, then it's awesome. What happens is when we start to all the chatter. And I mean, if you're online, if you're out there throwing ideas out to the world or videos and people are ripping apart your podcast, like, "Hey man, you're so stupid," or whatever, the reviews of the person in the anonymity of a dark room, well, I don't know that person. Maybe that'll help me a little bit to think, yes, that's helpful or that really hurts, but do I listen to the person that matters to me, that has my best interest at heart? And is there a way that I can improve if I listen to them? For me, when Clint Pulver says something to me, I listen, I do the change and it makes all the difference and I'm grateful for it.
[TYLER]
Yep. Well, Jason, I'm grateful for this conversation. I'm grateful to, through Clint's connection be here speaking with you and so excited and thankful for your book and excited for people to take it on and read it and grow. So thank you for your time today, man. Can't wait to see more, hear more. Before we sign off, I want to say this and again, there's no dog and pony show here. There's no impersonations, but I just would ask if there was one, of all the shows that you did in Vegas, what was the one piece that you're like, "Man, I can't wait till I get to that point. I can't wait till I do that because I know the audience is just going to be blown away." What was that one?
[JASON]
That's funny. That's a great question because there were little moments and spots that I built in the show. So it's never just a flat line and then you're slowly going up a slope. It's never a wave either necessarily, but rather it's a wave that builds and slowly ascends. So I would take them on these peaks and valleys that was like emotion, funny, laughing, crying, movement, all that and I'm dancing, I'm singing. Anytime I would introduce a new something, they were blown away by each little piece as if to say how many gifts can this guy have? And all I was doing essentially just bringing all my bag of tricks from my youth that had made my friends laugh. So at the beginning, and I'm going to give you a couple here, at the beginning I'd come on stage and I'd be like, "Hey guys, you remember the BGs, the BGS from the seventies? I'm going to sing like them. [singing]. And they'd be like, "Oh my gosh, he sounds like them." Then I would take them up to the next place where I'd say, "Hey, how about we do some piano?" I'd sit down to the piano and play Elton John [singing] and they're like, "Whoa. And then they'd go, how cool is this guy's voice? He can sing all the high stuff."
Then I'd say, "How out some Louie Armstrong. And I think they might say what they want to do for word." And they're like, "Wait a minute." Then I'd go into the Velo Raptor from Jurassic Park [animate voice] and I'm chasing my kids around that house and they're laughing like, "What are we watching? This guy's transforming into all these different faces and voices and things that he can do with his face that no one else can do." But Tyler, with every piece that I introduced, it actually inspired in the minds of the viewer to think to themselves, what am I not sharing? What is it that I'm holding back because that guy looks so stupid, but it's awesome. So how is he so brave to do that on stage?
And the truth is it's my promise to share my gifts that only I have. And if I don't, then I'm cheating the world of the gifts that I have been given, b the skills that I have cultivated. So that's why I like to talk about the promise that we all have a promise to share our uniqueness, that which makes us incredible leaders. And I don't know, man, I hope that answered your question. But each little piece was just so fun to introduce and by the end they were like, "Show us more." And I'm like, "I think I gave you everything because my promise is to do that."
[TYLER]
So there's no Uncle. There's no, okay, I'll come back and I'll do a little bit more?
[JASON]
Yes, the Uncle was like coming out and wiping my brow and saying, "I have given you my all. I love you have a good night and then I'd fallen my back like Jim Carrey? So I was like, "Well. So it was fun, but Tyler, thanks for having me on here, dude. I really admire your work and thanks for including me.
[TYLER]
Appreciate it man. Appreciate it. Thank you.
One of the greatest things that I loved about Jason is this idea of we go through our childhood years, our junior high years as he shares and you kind of figure out who you are in a way. And we almost mask ourself to be like that. It's not till later in life that we understand, oh, we can either use that in good way or a bad way. For me, it was my experiences in junior high where I either hid or in high school where I learned how to just push my self forward that drove me away from people. It wasn't until I learned later in life to put my arms around people. And I had friends with people, but as I look back and I go back and talk to them, I was too intense for them.
That was my own fault. I don't know if you've been down that path. I don't know if you've struggled in the same way. I've talked to other leaders. I know they have. Now, a lot of times because they're people that are driven to make an impact and sometimes being driven to make an impact can push this away from people. I don't want that for you. I had to learn through that, but as well, I know that I was only able to do that through interaction with others, that they shine that light on me because they cared about me.
If you're at that place where you're trying to say, how can I be a better leader, I invite you to come join the Impact Driven Leader round table. We're going to finish up the balance of this year, 2021 with some great books, some great conversations and kick off 2022. Can't wait for that. Look for that information coming soon. As well, please subscribe, rate, and review, let me know how I'm doing. That's how people find these episodes. That's how they find great people like Jason Hewlett. I hope you got some great takeaways from today and until next time, so glad that you're here joining in.
