IDL70 Season 2: How a Leader Competes Every Day with Jake Thompson
How does genuine progress differ from busyness? Do you focus on healthy competition or ego-driven comparison? Which traps do leaders fall into that can make them complacent?
Jake Thompson is the author of Compete Every Day, which is also a clothing and motivational franchise. He and Tyler met and connected through their love of books - and Tyler drew much of his ethos for this podcast from Jake’s notion of “how do we get better every day?” Today, they discuss the value of competing and how competition can help structure a leader’s mindset.
Jake Thompson is an athlete, author, entrepreneur, and speaker. He teaches people how to compete every day to reach their full potential – in their careers and lives. Jake believes that it’s through small shifts in our focus and daily actions that build our winning mindset – and winning life.
Jake started Compete Every Day in 2011 by selling branded t-shirts and tank tops from the trunk of his car. He never thought they’d have grown to what they are now; sold all over the world and continuing to grow every year.
Jake hosts multiple podcast shows about competition, mindset, and leadership because he believes the better we can fill our own cup and grow, the bigger impacts we can make on our coworkers, families, and communities.
Visit Jake Thompson’s website, and connect with him on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and LinkedIn.
IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:
Competition versus comparison (08:54)
Progress versus busyness (10:53)
Are you showing up to be the best teammate? (18:19)
Watch out for complacency (24:22)
Competition versus comparison
You should compete every day without comparing yourself because competition and comparison are not synonymous.
By ignoring comparison, you let go of things that are outside of your control because it does not matter that there is someone in front of you or someone behind you.
If you define competition by beating those ahead of you or staying in front of those behind you, then you will either always feel great or terrible.
Bring your focus to yourself, where you are, and compete with yourself.
Progress versus busyness
At the end of a busy day, you often feel drained, over-tired, and even doubtful that you got done what you had to do.
Whereas at the end of a productive day, you feel tired, but you know that you hit your goals and got to everything you wanted to get to.
When you focus on competing with yourself and who you were yesterday, and you commit to becoming a better version of yourself every day, you make real progress.
Maintain a growth-learning mindset. Commit to becoming better, and progressing each day in who you are and what you can do because that is a truer way to holistic success.
Are you showing up to be the best teammate?
Both in sports and in business, you are part of a team and are therefore a teammate like everybody else, even if you are the captain, coach, or CEO. Together you create a team, and how are you being a helpful and supportive member to it and everyone involved?
Is your intention to win, or to show up and do your personal best in that moment?
Outcomes do matter, but you cannot fully control outcomes. The only thing that you can control is how you show up and take action in a situation.
Watch out for complacency
When growth and success hits, the most common struggle that leaders have to overcome is the creeping sense of complacency, inconsistency, and comparison:
- Sudden success that blinds or does not take constructive criticism or systematic changes
- Feeling despondent to change and development because they are used to doing it the way “we have always done it”
- Focusing on what everyone else is doing instead of optimizing what you are doing
Resources, books, and links mentioned in this episode:
Jake Thompson – Compete Every Day: The Not-So-Secret Secret to Winning Your Work and Life
Joshua Medcalf – Pound the Stone: 7 Lessons to Develop Grit on the Path to Mastery
Donald Miller – A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life
Carol Dweck – Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
Visit Jake Thompson’s website, and connect with him on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and LinkedIn.
Join the Impact Driven Leader Community
Check out the Impact Driven Leader Youtube Channel
Connect with Tyler on Instagram and LinkedIn
Email Tyler at tyler@tylerdickerhoof.com and sign up for the next Impact Driven Leader Round Table Cohort
About the Impact Driven Leader Podcast
The Impact Driven Leader Podcast, hosted by Tyler Dickerhoof, is for Xillennial leaders who have felt alone and ill-equipped to lead in today's world. Through inspiring interviews with authors from around the world, Tyler uncovers how unique leadership strengths can empower others to achieve so much more, with real impact.
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Progress is never exhausting because you look at it and you’re like, “Ah, I made progress, I got better”.
Jake Thompson
Podcast Transcription
[TYLER DICKERHOOF]
Welcome back to the Impact Driven Leader podcast. This is your host, Tyler Dickerhoof. So glad you're listening in, or if you're watching on YouTube, glad you're here. Always grateful for all the comments that I get. I was at an event here locally, I think a week ago, two weeks ago, and a gentleman walked up, said hi to me. He said, "Oh, I love your show. Get so much value." Enoch, thank you for sharing that. Appreciate letting me know that you listen in and get value.
Today I'm excited to chat with a friend of mine. Jake Thompson is the author of Compete Every Day. He has Compete Every Day clothing. They have an entire suite of a lot of motivational material. He's also a speaker, does a lot of keynote speaking. Jake and I got to know each other a few years ago. I don't know how randomly it came, crossed paths, whatever. I joined, actually one of his book clubs, I mentioned that in this podcast and I got to read so many great books that he shared with me, exposed me to. Also similar books that had already read that I got to reread again. It is from this idea that Jake shared this, how do we get better every day? That's really why I launched this podcast, launched the book club that I have. I'm excited for you to listen to this conversation with Jake. I hope you get tremendous value out of it. The value of competing, what competing really means, is competition bad. What does that look like? So get ready to take a few notes, enjoy this conversation with Jake and I.
[TYLER]
All right, Jake. Great to be here with you. Good to see you. Good to have a chance to record a podcast. It was just what, two, three months ago? We both were in Vegas, were able meet up then.
[JAKE THOMPSON]
Passing each other.
[TYLER]
Passing each other. I was there for a soccer tournament. You were there doing your stuff. So I'm excited to have you as a guest to talk about you, your brand Compete Every Day, how that got started, but also really again, as I mentioned earlier, tie that into leadership, tie that into how leaders can be the best version of themselves. So excited to chat with you, man.
[JAKE]
Dude, let's do it. Always a pleasure to hang out with you and get to talk shop. So today should be fun.
[TYLER]
What's funny over the last, especially the last few months, obviously engaged with each other on social media and the number of mutual friends that we have in the same space, a lot of my previous podcast guests, but then I stop and think, and it's like, man, how did we get connected? I remember of course Compete Every Day. You launched a book club. I was a part of that book club. I read some of the best books. One book that you featured in that book called was Pound the Stone, which then I led my sons to both read, loved it from that. My son's soccer club has read it. The technical director from the soccer club then took it to his college team that he trained. That's what came out of the book club. That's why I also started a little bit of book club here with the Impact Driven Leader stuff. So thanks for that.
[JAKE]
Man, thanks dude, you bet. If you find good work, good content, share it forward. I mean, as an author, that's the best thing you can ever have, is somebody refer it that you have no idea who they are. So yes, might as well get that message in more kids' hands, especially of catch your eyes off the outcome, just work the process.
[TYLER]
Let's start here for everyone in the audience that's listening that maybe hasn't seen a lot of your compete everyday stuff, would love for you to just share how did that get started. What really helped you grab a hold of that mantra and really as then a business that's come of it and in supporting people and speaking to organizations and doing a lot of keynote speaking would love to just start through that process.
[JAKE]
So this little roller coaster I'll say started back in 2008. I had wanted to be the next Jerry McGuire growing up. I thought it was going to be a sports agent and after a couple of years in that industry, I was finishing grad school I realized this is not what I wanted the rest of my life. We had a recession. I have non-traditional work experience. I have an MBA so I couldn't honestly get a job. Everywhere applied couldn't get even get a look. I laughed at Best Buy wouldn't even hire me for the holiday hours. So I was like, what am I going to do? Fortunately, I had taught myself basic graphic design, basic web and social media was super new. Companies had no idea what they were doing other than treating it like every other advertising platform.
So I built a small consulting practice out of just teaching people to say, hey, create content that customers want to read and engage with to build your brand instead of thinking, it has to be a direct sales channel. Built a good consulting practice for a few years, I'm in my mid-twenties, I'm single living in Dallas making great money, but I was incredibly unfulfilled. I looked at what I was doing as the equivalent of building this epic sand castle on the beach that you want everybody to see, you think is awesome., you're pointing at it, everybody pay attention. Then the tide comes and it washes it away and it's like, it's never been there. I felt like that was my career in life to that point.
Really the book by Donald Miller, A Million Miles in A Thousand Years really started challenging me on what story I was writing and how it wasn't a very good one. So I started reframing how I was living life and saying, what story do I want to write? I don't want to impact people. I always went back to, and it's funny, because I haven't talked about this publicly until the last year or so, but always went back to college. I went to college to play football. I got hurt the summer before. I got there, tore my shoulder up, set out the fall season, was just a student, had a chance to go spring semester. I was a little scared of my shoulder but I was like, I'm going to do it. I spent like a week as a, because I was athletic academic walk on. I was late. I had to work out by myself, didn't have any upperclassmen to show me the ropes, didn't have anybody to throw with.
I'm an undersized guy so I'm like if I can't study, I'm not going to have any advantage physically. I remember doing that a week and it was the most lonely and scariest I've ever scared I've ever been in my life because I was truly the freshman in the varsity locker room and nobody could show me the way. I was worried about my shoulder and then I was going through the whole thing that we all go through as athletes, the identity. What if I fail at the one thing I think I'm good at and what if I'm not good enough? I remember on a Friday afternoon finishing weight room session and leaving and just being like, I'm done, I hate this. Like listen to your gut feeling. My gut was in a knot, not because it was the wrong thing. It's because I've never done this before and I'm terrified, but I didn't know that.
So I spent a few years just emotionally in a roller coaster and pit of grieving loss, not realizing I was grieving loss, identity, all of that. Here I am, flash forward, it's 2010/11. At this point I've been out of school five-ish years and I'm seeing the dots of like I settled because I was scared. Then I looked around at friends and saw friends that were settling for crappy relationships with toxic people, jobs they hated, things that life just handed them and believe in like that's my fate and it broke my heart because I knew what they were going through to a degree. I was like, there's got to be a better way. So I started chasing this idea of what would life look like if you strove every day, if you showed up and would just strive for greatness, strive to be better in your work, your relationships, your faith career, everything? If you just said, how can I be better today than yesterday?
The same time I started CrossFit late 2010, so this idea of everyday competing against the clock, plus my natural tendencies to just be Uber competitive were there. I was like, what about Compete Every Day? I threw it out on a ski trip with some buddies and they were like, bro, that is you. Like to a tee, that is your personality. So I didn't know what to do with it. I spent about eight months trying projects until my best friend was like, look at life is good. So they're out of Boston, they do 120 plus mill a year at the time. It's a literally a stick figure guy, funny enough name Jake. He said, I think you should try T-Shirts. Why not? You have nothing to lose.
So I put some money into boxes of shirts and tanks, started selling them out of the trunk of my car, behind a CrossFit gym in Dallas in May of 2011 and was just like, let me figure this out. Like I want to encourage and inspire the world to not settle. So that was really the basis of it. The business looks way different now, but the core message is still the same. How do we encourage, equip and empower people to show up every day and be better than they were the day before? Because we know if you bet on yourself, if you go back, if you fail, it's always an easier burden to carry than the regret of what if and letting fear talk us out of it. So that's what started and yes, and got me down that whole path.
[TYLER]
There's a lot packed in there that I want to run with but one of them that you talk about, and I wrote this down is there's got to be a better way. I think that happens for so many people. So many people over maybe the last couple years have been beating their head against the proverbial wall, wherever that's been, whether it's been full quarantine, in an office, out of an office but I think the element that you bring that I appreciate is just because we're no longer competing in sports, maybe that the sun has gone down on that career in our life doesn't mean that we shouldn't still compete.
Competing has this, for some people, it has this almost toxic nature to it. They connect a toxic to competing as opposed to, and I think you write a lot about this, you speak about this, it's like, no, it's not competing with others. I mean, that may drive a lot of people, but it's competing with yourself to be better a person today than you were yesterday, with the intention to be better tomorrow. It's something that I've adopted and appreciate and other mentors have really impressed upon me, but that's what I really get is the message.
[JAKE]
You get stuck, a lot of us confused competition with comparison and we live in this comparison mindset and there's someone always better than us and there's someone always behind us. So you can always feel good or you can always feel terrible, but those are things outside of your control. Competition, the actual definition is to strive to gain or win something. When I look at it's always through the lens of how can I strive to gain my full potential and who I was created to be? That's so important because I only control me. I control my attitude, my effort, my actions, every single day. A lot of people are like, well, that sounds selfish and it sounds exhausting. I look at it and I'm like, progress is never exhausting because you look at it and you're like, wow, I made progress. I got better.
Like you look at the difference between the word productive and busy, busy. You're a hamster on a wheel. At the end of a busy day, you're exhausted and most times you're like, I don't even know if I got what I needed to get done. Productive day you're exhausted, but you can look around, like I got that done, I got that done. You have confidence builders. So for me, this whole idea is actually selfless to Compete Every Day against yourself because it takes effort, it takes energy. You're going to have days where you just don't want to put in the work, don't want to show up, but you do it because you understand one, your life is worth competing for, but two, the better you become the better you can show up for your family, for your team, for your coworkers. So the easy way, the selfish way is to do nothing in terms of bettering yourself, because it's easy to be complacent and comfortable. It's hard and it's work and it's effort to put in work to improve, but by doing so, you're doing it so you bring a better version of yourself to those you're trying to serve.
[TYLER]
We live in a world as you talk about separating competition from comparison and comparisons in front of us. As I've learned from some thought leaders is comparison is natural. I mean, it's a natural human response, but to me, it's how we choose to internalize that. I know that's what you go into a little bit. It's like, instead of thinking of winning and losing thinking, how can I just be the best version of myself, that is a competition that has actually more benefit for others than it does a detriment? Because if I am the best version of myself, I'm going to bring out the best in others. If you view it that way, that's a healthy form of competition.
[JAKE]
It's a healthy form of competition. It also allows you to look at comparison in a healthy manner to not say, where are they amazing that I suck? It's what do they do well, and what can I learn from them? When you're not worried about comparing yourself to them and you can look at them and learn from them, well, that's where real growth comes from. Especially as leaders, we're looking for other, like, I look at other speakers and I'm like, what do they do well? How do they carry themselves on the stage? How do they set the tone or work the room? It's not, oh my God, they're so good and I'm terrible. Like, it's always about how can I learn? Then what works well for me, what can I take and apply? I think you can only do that once you've gotten to the point of understanding, like the only competition is the person I see in the mirror. Everybody else I'm trying to learn from.
[TYLER]
There's a maturity that comes about it. I know for me as I, as you stop and think about that, there's a maturity that I've, I guess, come to grips with and say, hey, if I'm the most comfortable version of myself for me and I'm doing so in a way to help others, I found that other people are more comfortable there too. But if I get too, if I let my insecurities show where I'm trying to add make sure that my knowledge, what I know is the value piece in front of me I end up making everyone uncomfortable. I think what I learned there, what I heard from you is looking at those situations saying, hey, what does Jake do that's unique and different and what can I do that's unique and different because that's how he relates, connects? Maybe that's an internal competition. How are you measuring progress that's not just self-centered, that is actually, if you're doing that, you're actually doing that with the intention of serving others?
[JAKE]
You're living out of curiosity instead of allowing your ego to get in the way of everything. That's really, Gianni, I'm going to totally butcher his name, the Greek freak ---
[TYLER]
It's all great. I mean, it's, hey, if you say that there's not many people in the world, you say one name, everyone knows.
[JAKE]
So he did, last year in the NBA finals, he made one of the best defensive plays in NBA finals. History had a killer block, maybe game three or four. He got asked like a few days later by a reporter about it. They were like, have you gone back and watched the block? He was so incredible. He's like, no. He said, watching that just feeds my ego and ego's all about what I've done. I am focused on pride, which is what I'm trying to accomplish and where I'm trying to go. I love that because that's really what we look for when we're looking for acknowledgements and accolades is how do I boost my ego to make myself feel important or to let everybody else know how important I am versus how do I maintain curiosity to say, hey, listen, I may have done this stuff. I'm able to help you because I know some different things, but I'm always hungry to learn more because I believe there's improvement. That's when you get to the top of the game in any industry. Like they've gotten there because they're always looking for a little edge or some way to grow and improve. They never feel like they're a finished product. They're always in the process of becoming
[TYLER]
Yes, it's a learning mindset that if you have that growth learning mindset and you have that as part of your competition. That, to me, it's, I mean a competitive guy and as I've talked to people and as I try to share with my children, I'm competitive not because I want to be better than someone else, but because I view it as there's no other way to carry yourself. My son, this last weekend, the Washington Cup State playoffs, essentially tournament and they ended up losing their first game an 0-1, own goal header. It was just a tough loss to a team they've played a bunch of times and then that led then the consolation bracket. If you're the kids, like it doesn't matter. I just like, I don't get that. I just don't physically, if you had the chance to step on a court, I don't care if you come to my backyard and we're going to play on the basketball court, I'm going to go hard because I don't know any different. To me, those are elements that it could be unhealthy if my expectations set other people, if there's a rub to me it's healthy because you know that I'm going to come and give a hundred percent
[JAKE]
Well and that's leadership. Can you be counted on to always do your best regardless of the circumstances or how you feel? And I'm with you. Consolation, man, that sucks. You want to play for the title, but if I'm stepping on the field, you're going to get everything I've got because I'm looking to win in that moment and I want to be my best. I think that carries over so much of life because you never want to waste a rep. You never want to waste an opportunity. You never want to give up that moment because it's "not as important" as maybe something else, especially from a leadership standpoint because people are always watching us. If we say we're a leader, if others know we have aspirations of leadership or we have a specific title, people are always watching us.
If we set the example that you can mail in effort, when you don't feel like it or why it's not you want to be, we're setting a low standard for our culture and leadership. So yes, a hundred percent with you. And the best part is effort's always a choice. It is always our choice to show up and give our best. So I'm with you and I hope the listeners understand that can think about that and evaluate it because it's always up to you, whether you give your best effort and can those around that you'll always be counted on whether you love it or not that you're going to give your best because that makes you a valuable, not only leader, but teammate.
[TYLER]
As I think about that. As you say that last part is how are you showing up to be the best teammate? Every one of us, it doesn't matter what your role and position is. You're a teammate and some people have different roles and responsibilities. One of the things I thought about trying to convey that to my son and his teammates is don't go out and compete because it's about you. It's like, go give the guy beside you your best because that's what he deserves. If you're like, well, this doesn't matter, it's like, well, maybe it doesn't matter to you, but that guy, that's your teammate, that is playing his position, he deserves your best.
If you're acting at your best is going to help them be better, man, that's the competitive nature or attitude that I think we should have in life. Again, it's not getting back to this I have to win. It's like, no, I, you beat me. Great. But I want you to beat me when I've given a hundred percent and not just because, oh, I mailed it in. Good for you. I let you win this time. Did I? There's something in my soul that it just doesn't sit but yet I've had to come to grips with it because it can be toxic at times. There are times when I've been toxic in it.
[JAKE]
No. I think there is, and I think it comes back to a lot of times the intention, is it to win or is it to show up and do your absolute best in that moment? That goes back to the selflessness of competing against yourself is consolation game. It's easy to mail it in. It takes effort to lead, to stand up, to give your best even if you might lose in a game that maybe is not important as you wanted, but you're doing it for your teammates. That's why it matters. That's the beauty of competition because it pulls out more within us. I mean, you talk about it. We've talked about it. The Duke Women's Basketball coach, Carol Larson, she ran the quote that went viral of the video. She talked about, if you were out running sprints on the court, you would do just enough to get under the time limit. If you had two to three teammates, you're competing because you're going to all go fast. You're trying to see who's going to win.
That's where that beauty comes in. That's where healthy cultures understand and say, hey, it's you versus you and me versus me, but we're going to push and elevate each other just as in relationships, iron sharpens iron. We want to be able to challenge each other in a healthy manner versus a lot of cultures is it's you versus you and pit it out. That's where you start to create the animosity because teams, especially they have trouble because they don't want to share best secrets and what makes me successful and how I improve my day or how I time block, because ooh, you may beat me for this award or that award versus, hey, I'm going to tell you everything I do. I hope you get better because it's going to force me to raise my game. I heard Draymond Green talking about that on TV two days ago, after playing the nuggets MVP. He was like, oh yes, YOIC won MVP last year. He may be MVP this year. He said, I love that because it forced me to raise my game to play at another level that was beyond my comfort zone and made me better. That's how we should always view. Anytime you have a chance to compete is a chance to get out of your comfort zone and grow
[TYLER]
Well, I think you mentioned this in your book again, Compete Every Day and just fits in this context is that competition is belonging. It's when you choose to belong, that's when you compete and you talk about it, it's like, what are you belonging to? It's when you belong to that team and you're running with those two or three other people, you're helping them grow. They're helping you grow, but that can also be from different teams. You mentioned Draymond Green. I look back to the relationship of Michael Jordan and Craig Elo. I have a friendship with Craig and we've talked about this and I remember Michael would not have been the same player if it wasn't for guys like Craig, because Craig actually beat him on more times than Jordan did, except for the post rise, the mythical picture of Jordan shooting over the top of him.
But Craig's like now, we beat them in season. As we talked about that, as Jordan got better because he had to compete against those guys, you talk about the last dance, Jordan had to get better to compete against the Pistons. I think when you look at it, that avenue of competition, the magic Johnson Larry Bird, you look at even the contemporaries now in sports that are like, I don't like you as a competitor because you really challenge me, but I like you as a competitor because you really challenge me. I think when you can elicit that on teams, it brings out the best in everyone.
[JAKE]
Absolutely. Honestly, it's no different than say a coaching relationship with you and your clients. You have to challenge them to get out of their comfort zone. That's what a good coach does. They challenge them, they hold them accountable. So in a sports sense, it's that, in a business sense, one of my clients sales team. So when we talk about like top performers each month, it's like, go learn from, them talk to them figure out what they're doing, ask them questions. They're going to be an open book because they're like, listen, I know what I'm doing. I do it really well. If you want to do this and start doing it and start inching up, it's just going to force me to figure out how do I keep raising my game.
So everybody's not looking at it as me versus you. It's like, here's how we win. Here's what I'm doing really well. As you put more pressure on me, I'm going to embrace it and say, how do I keep climbing? Because I love that thrill of back and forth versus getting our whole identity wrapped up in, did I win or did I lose? There's outcomes and outcomes matter in sports and outcomes matter in life, but we don't influence, or we don't control the outcomes. We can only influence part of it by what we do. That's that important part of competition of what are you doing every day to improve.
[TYLER]
So I want to ask you this, the companies, the leaders that you're working with today, what's the biggest competition that they seem to be sharing with you?
[JAKE]
It's interesting because it varies by client because I'm in a few industries. One of my groups, it's complacency. I say that from a standpoint of they're growing so incredibly fast and they're having unparalleled success in the last two years that they hadn't had in the previous tent. So they're hitting a point where you keep on correct systems and keep wanting to stay on guys, but they keep growing. So they're at that balance of the team is winning, but we got a lot of mistakes we still need to correct. But it's really hard for guys to take the medicine when they're doing really well. So you're getting people taking their foot off the gas. So we deal with a lot of complacency on that side.
Some of my other areas, it's a similar sense of complacency, but it's more of, this is the way we've always done it or this is what's comfortable and it's gotten me these results. So I'm going to stay with it versus looking for opportunities to grow and develop or embrace new software or new time management skills. That's where you're running to because the core three areas I see are complacency and consistency and comparison. Comparison we can talk about, that's a lot more on the individual level. You see it at a company level if a CEO takes it and all they're looking at is what's everybody else in the marketplace doing versus like, what do we do really well and how do we improve it with the customer? The inconsistency and complacency tend to go hand in hand because if you're complacent, you're going to have a really good month and a terrible month and you're going to race again and then you're going to slow down or you just have very bad habits. That's where we see those.
Then the third bucket is not really the biggest consistency or inconsistency or complacency. It's just developing their leaders because they understand as they grow, they've had been fortunate to have some incredible leaders, but they have a whole new class of people that need to grow and develop in the company and there's no training or system to develop them into leaders. They're just, as they get better, we put them into manager roles sure, which you see everywhere and that sets them up to fail as leaders because most people aren't even trained to be managers, much less leaders. So how do we make sure that we've put a leadership development program in place to build their next class so that when those opportunities come, they're able to step right in and start having a better impact or influence than they would otherwise?
[TYLER]
There's something that just hit me on that last thought. We see this a lot of times. You have that person that moves from star salesperson to now star sales leader and yet they're also put into a competition. I think about it as there's a much different competition on the sales floor as there should be for the sales leader, but yet oftentimes it's the same competition. I believe this, you share this is that the best competition for a leader is how can they help others accomplish more? It's not what they perform. It's that changing and I think that's probably hard for a lot of leaders to understand, oh, we have to have actually two different types of competitions depending on the person.
[JAKE]
Yes, and really, you've got to have almost two different skill sets. So that scenario, you just talked about a lot of times sales guys, like they have a lot of influence over the outcome. They have a whole lot of control on the process. They don't control off the buyer's ready, but they can do everything around to set the buyer up for success. They thrive in that role. Well, as a manager, you're now responsible for the people. So you have much less control over the outcome. You're now having to work more of the process with the people. That can be a really frustrating piece because you go from performer to what you have to be is a coach. It's the same difference that you see with athletes all the time. Great athletes that become coaches really struggle to coach because if they're naturally talented, they're going to think, well, just do this.
A lot of guys can't perform the way that they just naturally do. So you tend to see guys that were backups that were not the most athletically, talented guests become great coaches because they had to learn the process. They had to learn it and then they had to learn how to teach it to others. So it's the same on the sales side, just because we have a top performer doesn't mean they're ready to manage and lead. There's characteristics and traits, but it's flipping that switch and saying, okay, my competition now is how do I help these guys work he process, knowing that the process will yield the results versus saying, how many times am I picking up the phone and calling myself because not a lot of it's in your control anymore.
[TYLER]
Well, and I think those are lessons that the sooner you learn the better off you are. It's, if you learn the process yields a result, even if you're competing on that sales floor and thinking, well, I just need to win the next contest as opposed to it doesn't matter what contest I win. If I build the right process, if I follow the process, if it's aligned properly, the results will come in time. Having that nature of that to a competitive context of, I want to get better, so that is the competition.
[JAKE]
Yes, and really understanding from that standpoint, what are we doing? What are the things in our control that we can improve every day? How we coach people, what our habits are, how we're managing our time. Because a lot of those distractions that come up are things outside of our control. They keep us from being at our best and competing every day because we're focused on what we can't control and what we don't have and what excuses we love to make versus like, how am I locked in? What am I using with what I have and what am I doing with what I can today?
[TYLER]
You mentioned earlier how Compete Every Day launched and this personal transformation. All of us have areas where as much as we want to compete, there's a struggle to compete. I'd love for you, if you would share, it's like, hey, where's an area like, man, this is a battle that I have to take every day to make sure that I'm reading my own words competing every day?
[JAKE]
A lot of it is, I would say my biggest one with ADHD is just the focus side of being very intentional with wearing and blocking out distractions because I could easily say, well, I'm managing a couple of businesses and I've got all this stuff going on. Then I'm not present in my relationship with my wife or I'm focused on the wrong things and I'm not attentive with my team. So that's where I have to be very intentional every day. I do that planning the night before where I can, following my agenda as best I can. I get like the idea of like, I don't want to be competitive in this space. In relationships is one where I hear most often, well, I don't want to be competitive in my relationship.
I ask I'm like, if you think about a great relationship, a love relationship, marital, it started by dating, what were you doing in dating? You were striving to gain or win their heart. You were actively dating them. What happens to a lot of marriages, we stop dating each other and they fall apart. So what are you doing if you, let's just reframe it, if it's not, hey, I need to beat somebody. It's how am I going to be better today? Well, maybe when I get home from work, I'm going to take my phone. I'm going to put it in the drawer for the first hour so I'm locked in with my kids and my spouse. Or I'm going to plan a date night for just us to go get away. You've got to get back to that mindset of like I'm striving to gain and capture their heart because that's really that idea of win something. You're trying to win over their heart. So that's one where I hear the most context and push back on this idea of competing, but it all goes back to just being 1% better. And 1% is such a small number that on its own, doesn't do anything for us over time. It does an incredibly large amount for us, but we have to consistently stack it.
[TYLER]
What part of helping people embrace the idea of competition get you excited?
[JAKE]
I think for me, the thing that fires me up is when I see people that were stubborn or maybe struggled with more of a fixed mindset and struggled to see that idea of incremental growth paying off. Because I think so much as society is obsessed with the outcome and we get so caught up in the outcome in the Amazon Prime, quick deliveries on success that we fail to work the process. So when I see someone and I can work with someone and they start to just work the process little by little by little, and then you start to see the fruits of that, it's like, they've been planting seeds in the field, working the field, waiting on rain, rain comes and something finally starts to grow, that's fun.
One of the ones I always laugh about is there was a guy right before COVID hit. So this feels like it's two decades ago, but it was just two years, but he was out one of my events at the Michigan Realtors Association. I have a scorecard in my book, that's a basic habit builder. He was in my workshop and we started talking about it and he was peppering questions and seemed super defensive about it. Then afterwards, he was like, hey, I got one more question cleared it up and three months later, I get an email from him and he's like, oh my gosh, I'm reading 15 minutes every day. You wouldn't believe how many books I've gotten through. I've been sharing this scorecard with everybody. I laugh, because I'm like, you were the guy in the audience who I didn't expect to do anything with this. He was like, well, I just didn't think like 10 to 15 minutes every day just wasn't enough to do enough.
He was like, but I wasn't factoring in 10 to 15 minutes every single day, what I could start doing until I started doing it. I just laughed. I was like, that's what fires me up. It's like just focus on the little can't see, stack them over time. Say, how do I just get a little bit better at this? Because more than anything, I just don't want to see people settle. I don't want them to go through the regret. The things that we all know that when you get to the end and you have no time left to change, you're carrying and you're burdened by versus saying, screw it. Let's give this a shot. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, but I'm going to get better in the process just like competing against a tougher competition or opponent. You may not win, but you're going to get better. You're going to raise your baseline. So the next time you play, you're going to be better.
[TYLER]
I think that's the part that I try to always keep in mind is whether it's myself being example to others, whether it's winning or losing, it doesn't matter. It's am I moving forward in a way that's going to force me to get better? If it's about me getting better, especially when that better can help serve other people, then it's always going to work. It's always going to be beneficial. I really just think about it. It's like the people that don't want to compete are maybe someone's listening and it's like, ah competition, isn't real big to me. I just don't care. It's like, I understand that statement, but what, it's coming back to Carol Dweck and Fix Versus Growth. It's, if I'm believing that this is the best I'm ever going to get, then that statement, that idea sets like, okay, I'm cool with that.
But I believe that our opportunity is to be an example to others and ourselves to say, I can continue to grow and learn and what version of me comes next is always going to be better. So therefore, I'm going to work towards that, even if it's just five minutes a day, even if it's just setting up my morning routine where I read my devotions, I read the three or four daily books that I read to stretch my mind. That's going to make me better. There's going to be something of that today that's going to impact someone around me.
[JAKE]
I think every leader should just have that mentality you just shared of my best is yet to come. Like if you operate out of that, then you're constantly learning, growing, looking for opportunities to improve, whether you're 25 or you're 55. That's where I think you have to be as a leader, because one, you have to teach others that growth mindset but two, you have to wake up every day and say, if my best is truly ahead, then I'm excited about who I continue to become versus depressed or upset that my best is in the rear-view mirror. Then I'm not doing more or leading more effectively because I don't think I can get to that next level.
[TYLER]
Well, I appreciate you for encouraging me to compete a little bit more every day and be the example for those around me. So keep doing what you're doing. I appreciate it, man. It's great to chat with you.
[JAKE]
You too, man. I appreciate the opportunity and continually honored by your company and leadership and getting to follow and learn from you online. So thank you for having me today.
[TYLER]
I appreciate it, man. Till I see you next time, hopefully soon?
[JAKE]
Yes, let's do it.
[TYLER]
As you finished up listening to the conversation Jake and I had, as I wrap this thing up, there's one of the things that Jake said that I really appreciate. From Donald Miller's book and he says, what story do you want to write? If you've listened into the podcast, you've heard some of those things, whether it's from the Vision Driven Leader, Hero on A Mission, books that we've related to other guests that have spoken. That's something that I want to just ask again to you, what story do you want to write? Choose to compete with yourself every day to get better. I've shared this. Hopefully I'll share it again with you and I'll share it another time. My personal mantra, my personal mission every day is to be better than I was yesterday, working toward with intention to be better tomorrow. That today's ceiling is tomorrow's floor. Yesterday's ceiling is today's floor.
Now some days I make a lot of progress. Some days I make just a little bit of progress. Some days I make progress in some areas, not so much others, but that's like a lot of games. You can watch sporting events. We talked in this episode about my son in soccer and he's at that age where he is trying to learn that stuff. My other son who is a basketball player is learning that. My daughter in her dance and soccer and in life are learning those things. I'm learning those things, is how do I keep moving forward in spite of situations that maybe forced me to look backwards? I think Jake shared it is, there's got to be a better way.
There's a point in time where you're looking around and you're saying, there's got to be a better way. That's healthy. That's a good thing. That's not a comparative to say, oh, woe is me. They're doing better than me. It's how can I be better? The greatest organizations that, the organizations that make the most impact in my belief are curious enough to say, there's got to be a better way. I know for one of the greatest choices that I've ever made, my wife and I made, when we joined a network marketing company, we started that business and that's what's led for tremendous amount of impact. My thought was, there's got to be a better way. I was at a career crossroads. I was at a point where I was frustrated. I was dejected. I needed to grow as a person. Well, making a career change, making a change into a different environment, let that on.
Maybe you're listening in and you're thinking about man, I need to be in a different environment. I'd love to help you through that. I'd love to help you navigate through that. Send me a message, tyler@tylerdickhoof.com would love to walk through that or send me a message on one of the social media channels, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, whatever works for you. I'd love to help you through that, just as a part of the process, being a part of the community.
Thank you for listening in. I'd love to know what you think of these episodes. Give me a rating or review. If you listen in, there was one point that really stuck out to you, man, I'd love for you to share that with me. Thanks again for listening. Until next time have a good one.
