The Company You Keep
Does the company you keep speak louder than the words you say?
Just recently, on a social channel, I saw a podcast episode referral shared by a friend, and I was surprised this person shared the podcast. I sent a message and shared my surprise at the sharing and that this person was a fan of the podcast host.
The reply, ‘oh wow, should I not be a fan?!’
My friend saw value in the content shared, and that should be enough to warrant a referral, right?
Yes, it absolutely should.
I responded to my friend's question by explaining a bit more about my surprise. I admitted I had not consumed much content from this producer. The podcast host has sold best-selling books and has a top-rated podcast. They are sharing valuable content. Why had I chosen to create a wall, sealing them away from me?
The company they keep.
As I distilled the thoughts and crafted my response, it drove me to rationalize my actions and opinions and do some internal reflection. You may know the axiom, ‘your actions speak louder than your words,’ to that extent, I add, ‘the company you keep speaks more than the words you say.’
If we are the conglomeration of the five people we spend the most time with, one would reasonably be able to deduce our values, character, and business practices by looking at those same five. If several people in your company are dishonest in business dealings, are you not more likely to accept the same practices? It’s not absolute, and maybe you wouldn’t.
Even if you wouldn’t, what becomes acceptable in your community you tend to accept eventually. Studies, both clinical and observational, have led to this conclusion. Those closest to us will always influence our character. Even the most convicted and resolute can be swayed by a group eventually.
I’m not sure if I will revisit my thoughts on the podcast host. Their content doesn’t speak to me at this moment. But I am rethinking this; how do I perceive others based on the actions of those around them? Do I give them the benefit of the doubt on their own or lump groups together?
I will be wrong, and I may be entirely wrong in this case. It is a bias based on what I have experienced. We all are liable to make the same decision I have, sometimes justified and others not.
In the same way, I need to realize others view me by the company I keep. To what am I making sure they are acting in a way I want others to see and view me? Am I spending time evaluating, reflecting, and pruning in order to stay the course to the values I hold close?
I encourage you to do the same exercise.
Socially and professionally, are you surrounding yourself with people who live by the same values and principles you do? Being honest with yourself and others can help propel you to where the others you surround yourself with match the values and principles you hold.
