IDL141 Season 3: 6 Behaviors to Increase Your Confidence with Emily Jaenson
Why does cheering for others boost your own confidence? How does your unchecked insecurity rob you of your authenticity? Can you commit to improving the life of just one person to make an impactful change?
Hello and welcome back! Today we’re talking all about confidence with Emily Jaenson, author, speaker, and podcast host. She shares how confidence took her from being a telesales agent to becoming the general manager of the Triple-A Aces. Then we take a deep dive into her six tips for building confidence.
Meet Emily Jaenson
Emily Jaenson’s motto is “Be so good they won’t forget you!” and she lives this motto each day in her work as a keynote speaker for companies and employee resource groups across the US. Additionally, Emily runs a consulting group, The Assist Group, where she employs her expertise in the sports and event sponsorship and marketing space.
Emily is on a mission to encourage women to pursue roles traditionally held by men. She leads a podcast, Leadership is Female, where she interviews female executives in sport so that she and her guests can guide the next generation of female leadership forward. Leadership is Female is among the top 10% of podcasts consumed globally.
Emily’s book, Let’s Go: A Guide to Increasing Your Confidence will hit bookshelves in the spring of 2024. The book is based on her wildly successful TEDx talk, Six Tips for Building Your Confidence.
Visit Emily’s website, listen to her podcast, and connect on Instagram and LinkedIn.
IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:
Cheer others on - 07:27
Breaking free of comparison - 07:57
Insecurity robs you of authenticity - 14:20
Mentorship through admiration - 25:04
Reward the behavior that you want - 33:47
Cheer others on
Early on in our careers, most people are extremely competitive. It’s great to be competitive with yourself, but after a while, being fiercely competitive with others tends to ostracize you from the group as people pull away from you.
“When you’re continuously competitive with others, you’re really not stepping into that leadership space. ”
You will then realize how much you need people, and how good and helpful people can be to your journey, so don’t lose them before you understand this.
When you are always competing with others, it means that you are also always comparing yourself to them - or them to you - and it will end up blurring your lines of what being “successful” is if you’re simply intent on beating those around you.
“You’re living in this disease I like to call “comparisitis” where you are constantly comparing your journey to that of somebody else’s, and we can never fully lead or fully serve if we stay in that feeling. ”
Breaking free of comparison
If you know that you are struggling with constantly comparing yourself to others, then something needs to change.
One way that you can easily begin to break free from comparison, connect with your community while building your personal confidence is to wholeheartedly cheer someone on, and to wish the best for them.
“The way that I have found where you can break free of those yucky feelings of getting down on yourself … And you’re reflecting back [by] saying, “Why not me?” flip that script to cheer other people on, and it will change your life. ”
One act at a time, celebrate other people’s successes. When you get excited about other people’s wins, you begin to step into a leadership role, and you begin to attract other people who will also be cheering you on.
Insecurity robs you of authenticity
“When people struggle with, “Uh oh, what are they thinking of me, did I say the right or wrong thing?” That’s our insecurity popping up and now all of a sudden, we lose authenticity. ”
People want your authenticity because they can feel it a mile away, just like they can feel your insecurities.
If you are brave enough to show up as you are, you will be rewarded with the authenticity of others as well.
“If you’re thinking about the one rather than the many, it’s much easier to shift your focus away from what all of these other people think. ”
Why can’t you be the one to sign up for the change and to foster it? Make it your goal to change the life or mindset of one person, because if you can improve the life of one person, it has a ripple effect - that is success.
Mentorship through admiration
If you struggle with access, you weren’t born into a wealthy family, or you live far away from the action that you want to be a part of, you can still learn from the people that inspire you through admiration and emulation.
If you cannot meet people in person, then learn about them from afar, and incorporate their teachings into your life.
“You don’t have to know me, you don’t have to know Tyler, but we’re both producing podcasts and content that shares our vision, and our leadership strategies, to help you. And good news for you, there are so many people out there like us... if we’re not your cup of tea … There’s somebody else who is.”
Consider mentorship through admiration through LinkedIn, podcasts, the internet, and even your local community with mentors, coaches, and teachers.
Remember that when you level up, we all do.
Reward the behavior that you want
“That is one of the greatest things a leader can do to build their organization, is [to] go celebrate and cheer people on and help encourage them to do more, and better.”
As the one in charge, you can instantly boost the confidence, morale, and happiness of your staff by rewarding the behavior that you want. Reward what is good, and you get more out of that good behavior.
It also keeps you in close contact with your employees, and shows them that you are noticing their work - in a non-micro-managerial way - and that also makes them feel seen and appreciated, and adds to psychological safety within the workplace.
“How can you create the best environment for yourself [and others] no matter what your job is, even if you’re not at the ultimate destination, even if you’re not at the top yet, how can you make the most of what you’re doing today? Because I promise you, if you are enjoying your experience, it will have a tremendous impact and upward trajectory on your career. ”
Resources, books, and links mentioned in this episode:
BOOK | Emily Jaenson - Let’s Go: A Guide to Increasing Your Confidence [releases 2024]
Visit Emily’s website, listen to her podcast, and connect on Instagram and LinkedIn.
Level Up Your Leadership with the free 4 Days To Maximum Impact Course!
Sign up for the roundtable at: hello@theimpactdrivenleader.com
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About the Impact Driven Leader Podcast
The Impact Driven Leader Podcast, hosted by Tyler Dickerhoof, is for Xillennial leaders who have felt alone and ill-equipped to lead in today's world. Through inspiring interviews with authors from around the world, Tyler uncovers how unique leadership strengths can empower others to achieve so much more, with real impact.
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